After losing a close friend and fellow serviceman to suicide, Mates4Mates community ambassador, Mate and veteran, Kevin Humphreys, shares an important message.
“On 19 December 2019 Australia lost one of its favourite veterans. Steven Jeffrey Fazel (Faz) died by suicide following years of combined mental illness and alcohol addiction.
As I sat at his funeral with over a thousand others, I sat silent in the realisation of just how many lives he had touched and how much love was in the room for him. I also couldn’t help but reflect on my own history and that it could have been my face up on the screen a little over a decade earlier as I battled my own mental illness and alcohol abuse. At the wake following, conversations revealed others had similar reflections during the funeral which I found both uncomfortable and confronting to hear.
I wrote some words to farewell Faz and posted them on Facebook. I didn’t post it for likes or comments. I posted it because I wanted the world to know what sort of bloke Faz was – to me at least. I wanted to offer him my honour and dignity. Well, the response was overwhelming from others with a similar experience of him. I know the statistics, nonetheless it made me wonder how many other people are contemplating ending their lives as I had. Equally, it made me question how many people are wondering if anyone actually cares about them or remembers the contribution that they made? Indeed, one of the comments on the post was ‘it’d be nice if someone wrote something half as nice about me when I go’.
I’m sure you could think of a person you know and insert their name into the tribute I wrote. Wouldn’t you prefer to tell them in person, rather than after they’re gone?
So, my purpose here is to remind you that you are noticed, you are known, you are not forgotten. There are friends or family that can and will help you, that will write good things about you. The travesty is that these words are normally not said until after the person is gone. We need to bring those kind words forward, to today, to let people know (regardless whether they are struggling now or not), that they are valued, that the world is a better place with them here.
At the funeral one of Steve’s brothers, Kerry, recited a poem he wrote in honour of Steve. It hits the mark. Kerry’s poem is included here, and the tribute is on my website, kevinhumphreys.com.au, as inspiration for you to find courage and compassion for a conversation. This might be with someone you love and respect, someone you haven’t spoken with in a while, or a brutally honest yet equally compassionate conversation with yourself. Don’t wait till tomorrow.”
When The Black Dog Comes A Calling
By Kerry Fazel
In honour of Steve (Faz) Fazel
Social workers provide an incredibly diverse range of services, including providing clients with a wide scope of interventions and support centred around linking people to appropriate support services and monitoring their progress and wellbeing.
