How to exercise your resilience muscle

As we welcome in 2026, now is a great time to explore how we manage change, an inevitable part of life and something that can mean different things to different people.  

For veterans, it might look like starting a new position in Defence, being posted to a new city or transitioning out of the military altogether. Change can also relate to the nature of our relationships due to the demands of training, deployments and long periods away from family and friends.  

Working to manage change more effectively may involve adjusting to shifting work schedules, relocating or focusing on your mental and physical wellbeing after deployments or injuries. Sometimes, it’s as simple as building new habits and routines to support personal goals or learning a new skill or hobby. 

When change has occurred or is still happening, the future may feel unclear and it’s natural to experience some discomfort and uncertainty. Each person’s experience of change is unique, and our reactions are shaped by many factors, including past experiences, current circumstances and even the beliefs we hold about ourselves. 

Why we resist change  

Common reasons for resisting change include fear of the unknown, concerns about taking on increased responsibilities, lack of resources or the challenge of letting go of a situation that feels familiar. Sometimes, it’s simply the thought of having to adjust old habits or face potential judgement that makes change feel daunting. 

There are also biological reasons for the anxiety we might feel when change occurs. The amygdala – the part of our brain that triggers the fight-or-flight response – can perceive change as a potential threat as it encounters new and unfamiliar responses. This can make it harder to think clearly or adapt easily when faced with new or challenging situations. 

For veterans and their families, adjusting to change can bring unique challenges shaped by their military experiences. Research tells us that the transition from Defence to civilian life can feel overwhelming for many and the uncertainty surrounding future employment, social connections and the loss of familiar routines can be unsettling. 

Beyond these practical challenges, there is often a deeper shift in identity and purpose. Veterans and their families may also experience changes within family dynamics and parenting roles, as well as the need to navigate new and unfamiliar systems of health, wellbeing and financial support.  

When too many changes happen at once, it can become difficult to maintain resilience – making it harder to recognise and embrace the opportunities for growth that change can bring. 

Change may never be entirely comfortable, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With awareness, patience and small, steady steps, we can learn not just to cope with change but to embrace it and further develop resilience. 

Building resilience to change 

Effectively managing change relies on our ability to draw upon resilience to cope, recover and continue to grow. This means “having the mental, emotional and behavioural flexibility and ability to adjust to both internal and external demands”. 

Many veterans and their families already possess incredible strength and resilience developed through their Defence experiences. These skills can serve as powerful foundations when navigating life’s transitions. 

However, when it feels like you’re fighting an uphill battle, it’s important to remember that you still have a sense of control. Staying aware of your ability to problem-solve, maintain social connections and treat yourself with kindness can all make adapting to change a little easier.  

There are many ways to build resilience and better embrace change:

• Adopting a growth mindset helps us see challenges as opportunities to learn and improve rather than an obstacle to fear.  
• Practising mindfulness can also help us stay present and engaged in the moment without judgement, supporting a sense of calm and balance during uncertain times. 
• Actively strengthening your support network, whether that’s through friends, family, peers or community groups, can improve your ability to cope with stress.  
• Engaging in healthy coping strategies and regular self-care also play an important role in maintaining wellbeing. 

When people draw on a combination of flexibility, self-compassion, problem-solving and support, they’re more likely to experience better overall wellbeing and life satisfaction, even when faced with significant change.  

We can often be our own harshest critics when faced with change, but it’s important to remember that no one is perfect, and we won’t always get everything right.  

By approaching change with a flexible and strength-focused attitude, we allow ourselves to grow, adapt and become more resilient in the process. 

Support at Mates4Mates 

Whether change happens suddenly or unfolds gradually, it’s normal to experience mixed emotions along the way. It’s important to remember that support is always available. 

If you’re working towards health and wellbeing goals, finding it difficult to manage stress, experiencing changes in relationships or simply needing some direction, the Mates4Mates mental health team of psychologists, counsellors and social workers is here to help. 

Mates4Mates also offers a variety of group-based clinical programs designed to provide practical tools and strategies to support you, no matter where you are in your cycle of change.  

You don’t have to navigate change alone; reaching out is a positive step toward building resilience and wellbeing. 

To find out more about how Mates4Mates can help support you, reach out to us on 1300 4 MATES (62 837) for a confidential chat.      

 

Written by Stacey Gillam, Mates4Mates Counsellor