Managing male loneliness

Loneliness is increasingly common among men, with studies showing that a significant number experience serious or chronic loneliness.  

Over 43% of Australian men report feeling deeply lonely, with many older men facing isolation as a result of retirement, partner loss, or shrinking social networks. This is an issue often made worse by social norms that discourage emotional vulnerability and close male friendships. 

The concerns surrounding male loneliness can be linked to increased risks of depression, anxiety, heart disease, and even premature death. It is also a major factor in suicide rates among men. 

Loneliness among male veterans 

For men who have then served in the Defence Force, veterans can then face a unique set of mental and physical health challenges, with mental health concerns such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety commonly presenting among veterans which can lead to social withdrawal and difficulty forming or maintaining relationships. 

Physically, injuries or disabilities sustained from service can limit mobility and reduce opportunities for social interaction, increasing isolation. 

Traumatic experiences during service may also result in a sense of alienation from civilians who may not understand the experience of military service. The transition to civilian life can be disorienting, with the loss of the Defence Force structure, camaraderie, and identity leading to a profound sense of disconnection.  

These combined factors can create significant barriers to building meaningful social connections, contributing to chronic loneliness among veterans, for both men and women. 

The impacts of Defence and transition on veterans and families 

The transition from Defence to civilian life often leads to a significant impact on a veteran’s social life, primarily due to the loss of the strong camaraderie and built-in community found in service. 

Similarly, the Defence lifestyle can affect the social connections of spouses and partners due to frequent relocations and long periods of separation from their service member.  

These factors make it challenging to establish stable social networks, often leading to increased responsibilities, stress, and a sense of isolation from civilian peers who may not comprehend the unique demands of military family life. 

Boosting social connection as a veteran or family member 

For any men who are looking to engage in more social connection, these activities don’t always have to mean large gatherings. To find activities within your comfort zone, consider groups that involve shared interests without the pressure of constant conversation.  

This could include joining your local Men’s Shed and learning a new skill or a group exercise class, where the focus is on the activity itself and conversation flows naturally. 

Volunteering for a cause you care about, taking an art or cooking class, or joining a social sport can also provide opportunities for connection with like-minded individuals in a structed and supportive setting. 

The key is to seek environments where common ground is already established, helping to reduce to initial awkwardness that may come from meeting new people. 

Support at Mates4Mates  

Mates4Mates offers veterans and family members access to social connection activities, from BBQs to bike rides, cooking classes, and one-off activities based on common interests. 

Mates4Mates also provides mental health services, with in-person and online appointments with psychologists, counsellors, and social workers for veterans and families looking for ways to manage feelings of loneliness. 

For more information about Mates4Mates services and how we can help to support you, reach out to us on 1300 4 MATES (62 837) for a confidential chat.       

 

Written by Marc Macdonald, Mates4Mates Psychologist.